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THE ALL NEW CRUMPLER WORLD FAMOUS MEREDITH GIFT
With special guest Giftmistresses The Town Bikes
The world's stupidest foot race, The Meredith Gift will be held on the Sunday afternoon of this year's Festival. The winner will take home the coveted Golden Jocks, as well as a slab of cold beer, as well as one of several excellent prizes courtesy of the generous sponsor of The Meredith Gift, Crumpler Bag Company. Crumpler are based in Melbourne and are currently looking after the bagging needs of the progressive modern human being, in a number of countries around the world. The simple fact is – their bags are unbeatably good.
Speaking of bags, the Meredith Gift is a completely nude sprint, of about 80 metres. See below on this page for The Rules. Anyone at the festival can enter (its free), as long as they are nude. It all started in 1992 when one of the bands was late to arrive on the Sunday. What do we do, we wondered. Have a race involving the patrons. Winner gets a cold slab. Some guy wandered to the front of the stage as this was being announced and asked what he would win if he did it in the nude. TWO slabs, of course. The following year the race was held again – as it was a talking point from the year before – and several people got nude, completely on their own accord. The year after we had to limit entry to only fully nude people, as there were so many people wanting to run. If you haven't seen a Meredith Gift, its pretty bloody funny. It can be a bit confronting and tragic too, buts mostly funny. There’s always a crash, nude people tumbling along at speed, grass burns, injured penises, etc. You should watch some footage of previous Classic Gifts, which you can do by clicking the downloads on this page, below.
THIS YEAR – A HEAT AND A FINAL
This year there will be a ‘heat’ involving all competitors.
There will be 10 Crumpler Meredith Gift bags strewn across the track
near the finish line. The 10 competitors who grab a bag then go through
to The Final. The Final will be run immediately after The Heat, and
will involve those ten successful bag-grabbers racing for The Golden
Jocks as usual. Except they will be running whilst carrying/wearing
the bag.
THE TOWN BIKES
The Marvellous Town Bikes (last seen at Meredith dancing on stage
with Bob Log III in 2003) will be Special Gift Mistresses, taking
registrations,
issuing instructions, marhsalling the runners and most wonderfully
firing the starters pistol. Belive me, you will do what they tell
you.
REGISTER
All competitors must register this year, by going to the Big Tree
near The Gift Shoppe at 2pm and signing an Indemnity Form, then
getting
a stencil sponged onto their torso. The Gift runs at about 3:30pm
Sunday.
View the footage of Meredith Gifts Past:
To view this short video (about 30 seconds) you will need Apple Quicktime
5. If you do not have Quicktime it can be downloaded from Apple's
website.
Three Flavours are available:
| Small (Fast- 260K) | Medium (Slower - 860K) | Large (Broadband - 1MB) |
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| Not Actual Size | Not Actual Size | Not Actual Size |
HERE ARE THE RULES OF THE GIFT:
- Anyone at the Festival can enter.
- This year ALL entrants must be nude or underpanted.
- No clean underwear can be worn.
- No worn underwear can be cleaned.
- Farting by competitors to increase their foot speed is permitted but not encouraged.
- Gaffer tape can be used to fix the underpants to the buttocks, to prevent riding. 'Wedgies' are always welcomed and often amusing.
- Any competitor wearing Lycra will be set on fire.
- Spectators must stand well behind the sidelines unless they want to trip someone over.
- Competitors may NOT drive their car instead of running.
Past winners include
The Two-Bearded Man, Trevor and three time Champ Richo The Plumber, and
Jarrod Red Cap.
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Photos by David Quick
